Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
