Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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