just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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