we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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