so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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