bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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