no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
