Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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