If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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