If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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