I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
