I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
