Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
