it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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