So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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