Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Alive.
So much puke
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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