would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
