I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
