Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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