WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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