u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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