Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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