i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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