I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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