Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the day after is always just damage control
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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