At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she woke up with a sticky ear
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
