Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
