help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
