Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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