Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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