Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
