dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
