just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We had sex on a dog bed..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
