Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
