We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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