Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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