I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
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If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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