Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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