I'm going to rape someone's good day.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
