coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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