Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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