I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
