We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
