But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
