i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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