Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
