just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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