too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
