I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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