Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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