i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
