A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize