Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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