I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
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Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
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Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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