oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
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at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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