So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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