you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
