yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
